Trigger warning for discussions of rape and rape culture.
Zerlina Maxwell offers ways to prevent rape without making women responsible for the crimes committed against them
I took part in a recent debate on Fox News’ Sean Hannity Show about whether women should just get guns in order to prevent rape. There I said the following:
“I think that the entire conversation is wrong. I don’t want anybody to be telling women anything. I don’t want men to be telling me what to wear and how to act, not to drink. And I don’t, honestly, want you to tell me that I needed a gun in order to prevent my rape. In my case, don’t tell me if I’d only had a gun, I wouldn’t have been raped. Don’t put it on me to prevent the rape.”
As a rape survivor, the conversation about how to best combat rape and domestic violence is personal and can be very challenging. Rape culture is a pervasive part of our society because of social conditioning. Yet we struggle to find ways to avoid patterns of victim blaming and many of us would rather advise women on the precautions they should take to avoid being raped as opposed to starting at the root of the problem: teaching men and boys not to be rapists in the first place.
When I said that “We can prevent rape by telling men not to commit it,” I wasn’t expressing some simplistic, fantastical worldview. There are organizations like Men Can Stop Rape and Men Stopping Violence that are already doing the work to train men from a young age to understand and challenge rape culture. Interestingly enough, many who disagreed with my argument chose to send me rape threats, insults, and dismissive remarks that in many ways proved my point.
We need a cultural shift NOW. In hopes of getting a conversation started, here are five practical ways by which we can teach men not to rape…
TW: rape
The National Mall got a new memorial yesterday, if only briefly. As part of One Billion Rising, Baltimore-based feminist group FORCE installed a temporary memorial recognizing survivors of sexual assault. The group greated giant letters out of a statement from a rape survivor and floated the eight-foot-tall words onto the reflecting pool in front of the Lincoln Memorial.
[TW: rape] Don’t believe in rape culture? Here are some statistics for you.
Out of every 100 rapes:
- 46 are reported to the police
- 12 rapes will resort in an arrest
- 9 rape cases are prosecuted
- 5 rape cases lead to a felony conviction
- Only 3 rapists will ever spend a day in jail
In a survey of 11-14 year-old boys:
- 51% believed rape was acceptable if a boy spent a lot of money on a girl
- 31% believed rape was acceptable if a girl had past sexual experience
- 65% believed rape were acceptable if a girl and boy had been dating for more than 6 months
- 87% believed rape were acceptable if the woman and man are married
A woman might not even have grown up understanding what rape is…because in a survey of 11-14 year-old girls:
- 41% believed rape was acceptable if a boy spent a lot of money on a girl
- 32% believed rape was acceptable if a girl had past sexual experience
- 47% believed rape were acceptable if a girl and boy had been dating for more than 6 months
- 79% believed rape were acceptable if the woman and man are married
In a survey of college males:
- 35% admit - anonymously - that they would rape under the circumstances that they could get away with it
- 1 in 12 admitted to committing acts defined as rape, but 84% of rapists did not recognize those acts as rape
In yet another survey of college males:
- 43% of college-aged men admitted to using coercive behavior to have sex, including ignoring a woman’s protest, using physical aggression, and forcing intercourse.
- 15% acknowledged they had committed acquaintance rape; 11% acknowledged using physical restraints to force a woman to have sex.
I could go on, but attitudinal surveys and acceptance of rape myths are far more telling than legal statistics.
name-em-shame-em (via thisgingersnapsback)
People full stop.
(via cauda-pavonis)
i will not ever stop reblogging this
(via methodistcoloringbook)
Victims of Amherst College’s rape cover-ups and the disgusting things said to them
Photographs by Jisoo Lee
Project by It Happens Here — Dana Bolger, Kinjal Patel, Sonum Dixit
I just cannot with this today.
https://twitter.com/cracked/status/270290365976829952
Sometimes I think Cracked is getting pretty progressive!
But then SeanBaby starts making rape jokes on their twitter feed. Enough!
[Content warning: Rape] I will be personally avoiding buying any Trancedoll products
They have decided to name one of their products the “rape victim skirt”, with an obvious intention to evoke imagery of violence. They are defending this choice, because their mission statement is “We are here to bring you fashions that wretch the stomachs of modern acceptable society and to question the bindings of human consciousness…then eat your torso after the jackals finish with you.” They specifically want to damage you psychologically. They want to harm people.
That’s not fashion, that’s psychopathy.
If you want to go leave a message on their facebook, here is the link to their wall, and this is the offending post, so you can get an idea of what is going on - they have commented a couple times defending their choice, suggesting that bringing up rape is a marketing tool they find desirable and appropriate… I don’t know that they’re going to like this advertising choice for much longer.
Malvina Reynolds - The Judge Said
The judge said “Screw ‘em!
Boys, you’re only human.
They brought it on themselves
By being born a woman.
Like a mountain’s there to climb
And food’s there to be eaten,
Woman’s there to rape,
To be shoved around and beaten.”
The judge took his position,
The judge he wouldn’t budge,
So we’ve got out this petition,
And we’re going to screw the judge.
Now if you beat a horse or dog
Or violate a bank,
Simonson will haul you in
And throw you in the clink.
But violate a woman,
Your equal and your peer,
The judge will slap you on the wrist
And lay the blame on her.
The judge took his position,
The judge he wouldn’t budge,
So we’ve got out this petition,
And we’re going to screw the judge.
To draw a true conclusion
From what Simonson has said,
Woman has to live in fear
And cover up her head.
She has to dress in purdah
And lock herself in cages,
And this kinky judge in Madison
Is from the Middle Ages.
The judge took his position,
The judge he wouldn’t budge,
So we’ve got out this petition,
And we’re going to dump the judge.In 1977, Judge Archie Simonson said during a juvenile sexual assault case in Madison, Wisconsin that “given the way women dress, rape is a natural reaction”. He argued that the three juveniles being prosecuted in the case should not have to be punished for ‘reacting normally’. This led to the development of a group called Committee to Recall Judge Archie Simonson, who were borne out of an already healthy community of feminists working against sexual assault. Recent changes to the legal status of sexual assault, and a high number of recent cases of rape in the area meant that this issue was likely quite present already in the minds of both media and public when Simonson made his infamous remarks.
We might see some parallel between these events and the recent rise of the Slutwalk, inspired by the remarks of one Canadian policeman, Constable Michael Sanguinetti, who recommended women “avoid dressing like sluts” if they don’t want to be sexually assaulted or raped.
It’s something I’d like to look into more, but hopefully you will enjoy the awesome Malvina Reynolds and her take on the Simonson recall in the mean-time.
EDIT: Just re-reading, and want to clarify that I don’t know if Malvina Reynolds thinks that everyone dressed in “purdah”/burkas/hijabs etc. is being oppressed, but I don’t. I think her point is that we aren’t allowed to ‘dress slutty’ so-to-speak, according to Simonson, but she could probably do that in a way that doesn’t perhaps diminish some women’s choice to wear head-coverings.
